In case you’re not sick to death of the ongoing campaigning that we’re about to endure for the County Commission, the County Assessor, State Legislature, Congress, and President, the next few weeks also introduce to the annual springtime Student Government Association elections at West Virginia University. These springtime SGA elections offer us a delightful glimpse into the minds of the little fascists who will eventually go on to pester us by running for all of the aforementioned political offices. With that in mind, I offer you this quote:

“Once elected as the student body president and vice president, Jarred Zuccari and I are most excited to work to fulfill the once eminent and respected image that Student Government has held in the past. 

This is amusing if only because it has never been true. The SGA has never been eminent nor respected, mostly because the SGA is…well, the SGA. The fact though that these politicians - so young, so youthful, so innocent - can already cynically spout the utter bullshit of adult politics is at least part of their problem, if only because overwhelming majority of students on campus repeatedly have made clear that not only do they not care about the SGA right now, but that they’re never going to care about the SGA. If students did care, they’d vote. But they don’t. 

That low percentage of student turnout, incidentally, is what made it so easy for SGA students to try to rig their own elections as recently as last year, rigging that was so ham-fisted that the entire election was eventually thrown out. Which meant that it then had to be done again.  The turnout for that second election was less than five percent of the student body at WVU. 

So what happens next? Hundreds of perfectly good sheets get ruined. Thousands of stupid pledges are made. Tens of votes are cast.